The fear of losing your “soulmate” can cause you to endure needless pain and suffering to pursue or stay with someone that’s all wrong for you. Meanwhile, happiness could be waiting around the proverbial corner.
In my 25 years as a psychic advisor and relationship consultant, I’ve witnessed the emergence of a destructive concept I call “soulmate syndrome”. An example of this is a 28-year-old woman I’ll call Kimberly – who came to see me for advice about a relationship that had grieved her for more than 3 years.
I laid the tarot cards before her, and saw her boyfriend’s abusive nature and need for control and her codependent behavior permitting his cruelty to her. She nodded in agreement, as every turn of a card plunged deeper into the dark recesses of the relationship.
Nevertheless, when I said that this man would never make her happy and that she needed to “move on” she glared at me defiantly and said “You’re wrong” – He’s my soulmate.”
And there is was – Soulmate Syndrome. Despite the fact that he was emotionally abusive and manipulative, she resigned herself to endure whatever heartache or humiliation necessary to maintain the relationship, because after all – he was her “Soulmate”. Back in the early 1980’s the word soulmate, was seldom used or even understood; now almost everyone has heard the term and developed their own definitions of its meaning (although still widely misunderstood)
The Truth about soulmates:
- Soulmates do exist. however; they are not limited to just romantic relationships. They can be friends, siblings, parents, etc. Anyone that is placed in your life to help you learn and grow, and yes lovers and spouses can be soulmates, but not always.
- “Soulmate” is not a seal of approval or a guarantee of eternal marital bliss. It doesn’t even guarantee a short-term committed relationship.
- Many people marry people who are not their soulmates and have happy and loving relationship
- A soulmate can be a challenger. This type of soulmate is in our lives to vex us, to push us to our limits. They forge character, bring out our strengths, and abilities; and push us out of our comfort zones so we can learn and grow.
- You have more than one romantic soulmate. This is a topic for another article, but to state it simply; it is never necessary to stay with someone who chooses to be destructive or abusive because; karma’s got your back and you will not be alone for long.
A relationship of mutual respect and caring is what is necessary to help us grow. We need to know when to walk – no – when to run from a one sided, no return, bad emotional investment
Six months later Kimberly finally took my advice and moved on. She is now in a loving relationship with someone new with whom she can build a life and share a future. However, first she had to overcome soulmate syndrome